You left me on the 19th day of December. It was cold. I could not say goodbye. You were the rock on which I anchored my anomalous spirit. You were the safe harbor I sought when life threw turbulent waves my way. Now there is no anchor to still me as I drift alone. I battle the turbulent waves with no sight of safe refuge. There is little choice but to sink into the depths of despair. Today marks 28 months adrift on the ocean of tears I have cried. I still cannot find the words to say goodbye. I cannot face the finality.