My heart is broken and it will never mend. I have accepted that I must continue on this path I chose, but that does not mean I have to like it. It is true that I have awesome children, awesome family and awesome friends and for that, I am grateful. I have accepted the fact that a man will never again look into my eyes and love me for who I am. I know that I will never again be held in strong arms or kissed until I feel like I am the most beautiful woman in the world. I am not a stupid person. I know those days of feeling special are over. Please stop telling me “At least you have your children” or “at least you still have your parents.” I know this, but there are different types of love. A husband is someone you become a part of, someone with whom you make love. Love for your children is different from the love you share with a partner. Please stop judging me. I am not suicidal. I go out of my way to make others feel good about themselves. I strive to make people laugh and smile. So why do you keep judging me? I have done nothing to hurt you. I know that I will never be loved again; I do not need you to constantly remind me. Praying to see my husband does not imply that I am insane, it makes me human. Pass judgment on your own reflection, not on me.
©2012 Relinda R.