After years of watching a world spin in which she had no place, she decided it was time to surrender to fate. She asked the rock if her absence would change its plight. It replied, “No, you are gone from my sight.” Still in doubt, “Will I be missed,” she inquired of the tree and the tree replied, “Not in this life.” So she screamed to all the people who could hear, asking if her presence mattered at all. They all screamed in unison, “You have nothing we need at all.” She hung her head but there were no more tears. She teetered on the edge of the cliff with one foot in the air and wondered if it would hurt more than the last few years. She had her answer right away and knew that it could not so she took that last step into the air and flew. She flew right into the embrace of the one she loved, who had been patiently waiting for her. And she smiled again.
I call it a “haze.” Yes, it is like living in this hazy atmosphere in which you remain unsure of what is real. It is sort of like waking from a nightmare, only you are unsure if you are still dreaming or if you are, awake. When you live in that haze for years and fight the monsters that slip up in the mist, you eventually get tired. You eventually succumb to defeat. You reach a point in which you just want to lie down in the mist and let the monsters take you away. You only want the pain to end. You fashion a white flag from a worn shirt and yell, “I surrender.” Only then, can you embrace Loneliness and really sleep. And just maybe Loneliness will make love to you one last time and you can sleep forever.