Tag Archive | poetry

Charlatan Veneer


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Walls painted pure in white with stains of charlatan veneer seeping through plaster. Rising from the pews are faces wearing the façade of devotion while dark desire stirs within their loins. Mantras masked in fear dripping from tongues dipped in the dried ink of detestation. The impressionable little children absorb the fumes of ancestral bigotry within open minds hungry for information, amidst woven carpets where goodness lay still within pores of stone. Beneath ancient stone, love silently weeps to escape the vacillation of humanity’s misinterpretation. Image

And while He shudders with disgust at thousands of years’ accumulation of odious and ignorant delusion, He embraces a starving homeless man donning disheveled garments, lying helplessly in the dark alley, just behind the mound of plaster where echoes of brimstone scream in laughter, where fat women dressed in flowers baked bread all night for the charming pastor, whose spittle reeks of hypocrisy. With disappointment in His eyes and all knowledge in His being, He carries His child Home, where hatred exists no more.

©2013 Relinda R.

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Monsters


Monsters are real. They creep out from their hiding places late at night while everyone is sleeping. They whisper threats into my ear and remind me how empty life is now. They stab my heart with jabs of yearning. They taunt me mercilessly, reminding me of dreams long dead. They tell me how I will never again know love. They chant it repeatedly. I fight them but they always win. If only they could take me away to their hiding places once and for all. Then I could be a monster too. It would not hurt so much then.

 

©Relinda R.

Counting Dots…


 

Sometimes, late at night, I stare at the night sky and try to count all the little dots of light. It is impossible. I imagine there are more stars flickering above then are people flickering below. I catch myself wondering if Doyle is among those stars even while I know he is right next to me and a million miles away at the same time. I look up toward the sky and reminisce how his laughter sounded and how his touch felt upon my skin. I try to fight back the tears as I acknowledge that I will never know that sound or touch again. My chest aches because I use all my strength to hold the tears inside my wounded heart. Sometimes, late at night, I scream. During the night, monsters wake and I can see Loneliness and what he can do to the bereaved. I know because he has tried to kill me. I keep waiting for angels to sing or some shit like that, clinging to the hope that he will come back for me. Logically, I know he will never come back for me. I tell the stars that there is no need to keep punishing me but I believe the biggest punishment is yet to come when I wake up in a hundred-year-old body. It has been two-and-a-half years and I miss him more each passing day. I can only imagine what I will be like in 40 years. I fear that is my punishment for loving him so much, to live a long life without him. Tomorrow—July 2 is our wedding anniversary. It will be the third one without him. God help me. I know I will be standing in the darkness counting all the little dots of light and wishing… pointlessly.

 

©Relinda R.

Burial


Burial

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I buried you on a dreary winter day.

It was cold and I remember freezing,

I am freezing still in a strange way.

I remember the song “Arms of an Angel” playing

as everyone lined up to see you and say goodbye.

I was praying that an angel was saying

That everything would be all right.

I remember a strange buzzing in my head

 as I picked out your favorite pair of Levis

 But I couldn’t hear what the angel said.

Because of the incessant buzzing in my head

And I could feel it vibrating in my heart.  

I remember requesting that your cap be on your head,

as it always was in life.

I remember the tears that slid down my face

as I took your hand and asked, “Is that better, honey?”

Those same tears still slide down my cheeks,

sometimes forming a pool around my heart.

I remember trying to smile at everyone

and make them feel at ease

while the sound of my heart breaking

deafened me.

That sound deafens me still.

The smile I wore as a mask

to hide my grief was made of iron will.

I wear that mask still.

I know you are not in pain

and I know that you are doing fine,

but I miss you terribly.

I know that I will never hear

the words “I love you”

again in this life,

but I continue on

doing what I must do.

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People tell me how strong I am,

they do not know how I fall

to my knees when no one is looking.

I know that I will see you again,

But I always ask when…when.

I remember staring at the wooden box

you were in before it was lowered into

the ground and thinking how

it could not be real.

I was worried that you would be

so cold that night.

I was. I am cold still.

I know I promised you

that I would be fine and that you

should do what you had to do,

I lied. I never lied to you before,

but I had to so that you would stop

worrying about me. I am sorry that I lied.

I remember that cold day in December

when I said “see you later.”

It was the darkest and coldest day I ever knew.

I have not felt warmth or seen the sun since that month.

What did I do? Whatever did I do?

I miss you, my love. I miss you so very much.

When I buried you, I buried part of me too.

It is my wish that you are warm now and feel the sun.

It is my wish that you are no longer in pain.

It is my wish that one day… you will be standing in front of me

with open arms, saying “I love you.”

Only then, will I feel warmth once again.

©2012 Relinda R.

china doll


Imagechina doll

 she lie perfectly still Wondering what she did wrong

what Unforgivable sin could she have acted upon

to warrant this silent Suffering for so long

her tattered arms, half broken porcelain, half cloth

lie stretched from her sides as though staked that way

stuffing dared to peek from the torn threads

while Fragments Of porcelain motionlessly lay

upon the ground beneath her once beautiful head

Love and Adoration once filled her days

she wore the prettiest dresses and bows in her hair

which hung in such a beautiful way

framing a round smiling face so fair

now she was naked and ashamed in the dirt

one bow lay nearby, half-buried in the ground

she was Alone and frightened with a spirit so Hurt

a sweet sparrow’s tune was the only sound

the tune taunted her, reminding her Love was Gone

her lips, once pink and moist, faded now

baked in the sun, dry and pale as bone

tried to form a word, but the word Died out

Silence enveloped her and she tried to scream

but no sound could escape her little throat

she glimpsed a Memory of playing near a stream

as her mommy gathered her into her warm coat

a Tear glimmered upon her pale cheek

and she fell into a deep Eternal Sleep

©2012 Relinda R.

 

Reflection


Staring into a mirror at her own reflection,

She sees the lines and darkness around her eyes.

Staring intensely, she welcomes a brief reception

Of understanding and releases a long sigh.

 

She speaks to the tired image she sees

And admits her tragic defeat.

She no longer knows with whom she pleas,

She only knows her desperate pleas are complete.

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 One last sweep of mascara onto her lashes

And one last whisper of ruby red lipstick.

Images of youth dance in her mind as flashes

as the candle’s flame disappears into the wick.

 

The fear of empty existence looms in her head.

She welcomes the prospect of a long-awaited date.

She brushes her graying hair in anticipation

Of renewing the love she lost to the sisters of fate.

 

Her reflection stares back into her eyes

With complete acceptance and understanding.

It knows her pain and hears her agonizing pleas

To be kissed and loved again while angels sing.

 

One last glance into the eyes of the bereaved

She whispers goodbye to all the grief.

A smiling reflection seems to say, “I, too, grieved”

And breathes one last sigh of welcome relief.

©2012 Relinda R.